Fortunately, in my academic and work life I have encountered only two partycrashers. One was my high school French teacher who told me that “if I kept going like this” (I never knew what “like this” meant) I would never make the grade to get into my dream college career. The other was a director of a company I worked for who told me that because I smiled so much no one would ever take me seriously professionally. Both predictions went in one ear and out the other. Time proved these two prophets of doom and gloom wrong and both were relegated to a corner of my brain with the label “loser”.
Looking back over the years, I see that both profiles have certain aspects in common: they were both professionals with mediocre results, with no authority over their community and no purpose linked to what they did. I suppose that the one who was a teacher would have preferred to dedicate himself to research and did not have the slightest wish to philosophize about Baudelaire with a group of teenagers. I suppose that the director wanted to spend his days practicing horseback riding and he was too lazy to stay in charge of a company for which he had to be accountable to his family. In any case, it is clear that both individuals were frustrated people who, because of a series of personal decisions, were far from their purpose. Can someone like that have any kind of positive influence on his or her team? What kind of manager could possibly believe that issuing negative statements is useful to make someone who depends on him or her better? And, what is worse, how much damage do these pseudomanagers do to more fragile people who might listen to them and jeopardize their personal and professional future?
Everyone knows of certain profiles that reach a managerial role or position for very arbitrary reasons: because they were there, because there was no one else, because they have a friendship or kinship relationship with someone, etc. But this is not the most serious aspect of the matter, but rather the devastating effects that a person without a managerial vocation and, therefore, without a vocation of service, can have on the people who depend on him or her. Along with the vocation of service comes inherently the will to bring people to their best version through a positive projection, not through a negative and judgmental affirmation. My admired Marva Collins made it very clear in her work and actions that positive reinforcement and trust are essential for people to evolve and bring out the best in themselves. Only good management profiles are aware of the full power of their words and deeds and their impact on their community or team. Accompanying your people towards their best version is not only an act of service, it is also an act of courage. There are times when you will have to admit that, for whatever reasons, you will not be able to make certain profiles evolve. In that case you will have to step aside without any negative judgement and put this person in the hands of another manager who will be able to make this person flourish.
Certainly, it is very difficult and unlikely that bad leaders (coincidentally, great egomaniacs) will come to make these reflections. Fortunately, the people on the team will have the last word on whether or not to listen to those doomsaying managers. So don’t let them crash your party.
